


Susie's Diary

by PrincessLuigi



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: Humans, I SHIP IT NOW!, Kris' Family, Memory Loss, Origin Story, Some death, Susie's past, before deltarune happened, diary entries, it was well deserved though, lab, like his human family, some amalgamates, the whole thing is young Susie's diary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-10-18 00:55:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 15,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessLuigi/pseuds/PrincessLuigi
Summary: Susie had left her diary unguarded. Finders keepers, right? Kris grabbed it, and went to read it, but it was written in strange symbols. But, luckily for Kris, in the back was a messily written translation from the symbols to regular letters. Kris was able to translate Susie's old diary, revealing a ton of secrets about the mean girl's past, and why she is the way she is now.





	1. A New Diary!

Dear Diary,

Yeah, yeah, I know this is my forth diary, but it’s not my fault one of the amalgamates got to my old one! I promised I’d keep you safe, and so I will! Anyway, you wouldn’t believe the day I had! The amalgamates got loose, (again!) and me and Sans had to spend all day bringing them all back! And then Gaster wanted to run some tests anyway! I was so exhausted, I just kind of collapsed at the thought of that! I woke up soon, I guess, but Sans probably isn’t gonna let me live this one down for a while… But, doesn’t matter. At least I don’t lose my mind whenever an amalgamate comes within ten feet of me! Anyway, I should probably get some sleep. See you soon, diary.

~Susie


	2. Cards' Powers

Dear Diary,

I think Cards kind of lost her mind today. It’s not that she went crazy, just that she didn’t know what to do. Gaster told her to use her suit abilities. So at first, she did just fine, but then… her powers became overwhelming! All at once they circled around her like a protective barrier, and no one could get close to her without getting attacked! She started screaming out and crying for her father, then just passed out. I think Gaster might have knocked her out. I kind of feel bad for her. If I knew what family was like, maybe I wouldn’t be so cold sometimes. Then again, if I knew what family was like, I probably wouldn’t get to be here, now would I?

~Susie


	3. Elevator

Dear Diary,

I got stuck on an elevator today. It broke down when me and Sans started fighting in it. I at least like to think that I was the one who caused it. It means I’m stronger than him. Anyway, we were stuck there for a couple hours before Gaster realized. Then he took us out so he could run some tests on out abilities. I wonder what I would have done if it weren’t for Gaster. I can’t imagine being alone… but I’ll never have to worry about that.

~Susie


	4. BORED!!!

Dear Diary,

I did stuff, again. Big whoop. There was another breach. Someone freaked out. An elevator broke. It all happens the same way, doesn’t it? I haven’t been making many entries lately, but that’s because there haven’t been any entries to make! Nothing ever happens! I’m sick and tired of just sitting here while everyone on the world above has a life, a purpose. I heard about that from Sans. He’s been up there before. Why would Gaster take him, but not me? Sans isn’t even capable of seeming friendly! I bet he’ll never make any friends! I, on the other hand, will one day move to the world above and have everyone be my friend! Everyone will love me! And, maybe one day, Gaster will take me up there himself. Then, I won’t even have to run away! We can all be happy!

~Susie


	5. True Lab

Dear Diary,

Did you know there was another lab? Gaster calls it the True Lab, but I don’t think the normal lab is a lie. Anyway, there's a weird machine that takes us there. I think it's a little creepy, but Gaser said it's important because of his job or something. I didn't even know he had a job…

~Susie


	6. Excitement!

Dear Diary,

You won't believe it! Tomorrow, Gaster's taking me and Sans to the world above the True Lab! He says the world's different above the normal lab than the True Lab, but I don't care! I'm finally going to make friends! He said that me and Sans were supposed to keep the king's children entertained. When I asked Gaster what a king was, he told me that a king is someone who rules over everything and tells people what they can and can’t do. I asked him if he was a king, but he just laughed. He then told me that the king’s children, Asriel and Chara, were also royalty. He told me that they are going to rule one day, and I need to show them some respect. I asked him if I could be a king. He laughed and told me that I can’t be because I wasn’t born to be, and I could only be queen if I married a prince. I was going to ask him what queen, marry, and prince mean, but he told me to stop asking questions and that he was going to teach me a lesson on manners. It sucked. You have to be nice, you can’t use powers, and you have to eat with the proper fork. But then, after that, he handed me a bag full of stuff. In it was what he called a shirt, a skirt, a belt, and a hairbrush. He told me that before I come out for breakfast tomorrow I need to change out of my lab gown and into the new outfit. I also need to “brush my hair”, whatever that means. I’ll tell you how it goes tomorrow!

~Susie


	7. The World Above

Dear Diary,

Today was so exciting! I think the best way to explain it is just to start from the beginning.

I had, like promised, gotten dressed up in the fancy clothes Gaster gave me. When I went out to breakfast, I found that Sans was also dressed up. He was wearing a white t-shirt with a blue jacket and a black pair of shorts. Didn’t look very fancy, but I don’t really have much of a fashion sense, anyway.

“Good morning!” I said cheerfully, sitting down at the table as normal. Sans gave me an annoyed look. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked.

“You seem to think this is going to be fun. It’s not.”

“It will be! I know it will be!” I crossed my arms. I would’ve much rather fought him over it, but I didn’t want to get in trouble today of all days.

Gaster came over and brought us some fancier looking food than normal. I gave him a weird look.

“Practice. Remember, eat properly and neatly while your there. You both need to be good mannered and friendly. Susie, you’re only coming because I accidentally made an off-hand comment about you around the king. If anyone asks, I’m taking care of you because your parents went missing. Nothing more. Don’t mention the lab, and don’t use your abilities. Try to keep the conversation on them and avoid any personal questions. The king’s son is lonely, so he won’t mind much if you evade questions. But you have to look out for the human girl. She’s sharp as a knife and twice as dangerous.” I didn’t really understand the knife thing, but I nodded. I’d do anything I had to if it meant I could see what was out there. Plus, nobody argues with Gaster. It’s just something you don’t do.

I ate the fancy food using the fancy forks with the fancy conversation and the fancy pinky finger up. And before I knew it, it was time.

The three of us went to the True Lab, and took the elevator up. We arrived at a casual looking room, and I felt… disappointed. It just looked like another lab. I thought we were done with those. But then we went outside of the lab. The whole place was a bright red, much unlike the sterile colors of most of the lab. The heat was overwhelming. It was amazing!

We walked through the bright, red, hot place, until we reached a large building jutting up from the ground. Two people in armor moved aside so we could come in to a grand hall full of flowers.

I had only seen pictures of flowers before today, but they are so much nicer in person! So bright, soft, and they smell so good! I didn’t even notice the person watering them until he spoke.

“Oh, Dr. Gaster, you brought Sans and Susie! Asriel and Chara will be so happy!”

I looked up at the guy with wonder. He had white fur, blonde hair that grew on his head and his face, and large horns. He continued speaking.

“Why don’t you two go upstairs to see them? Me and Dr. Gaster here will talk about the science stuff that you two will probably find boring.”

I was confused, but Sans nodded, and… actually smiled. It was a strange sight that threw me off guard. He grabbed my hand and dragged me to another room, where we climbed some stairs up to a nice room full of toys, drawings, snacks, and two children.

One of them was white and fluffy like the adult downstairs, but the other one… was completely different. She had brown hair like mine, but her skin was so light. I had no clue what kind of monster she was. But then I remembered what Gaster had said earlier. So I asked her. “Are you human?” 

Sans gave me a look., but the girl just laughed. “Are you a monster?”

“...Yes?”

“Then yes. I’m a human. Or rather, Chara.”

“What’s a Chara?”

“My name. What’s yours?”

I had been told to avoid personal questions, but I also didn’t want to miss out on befriending a human. I already messed up by forgetting the name “Susie. My name’s Susie. I’m a monster.”

She laughed again. “I got that much.”

The fluffy one walked over there. “Howdy, I’m Asriel. Asriel Dremurr. I was so excited when I heard you were coming today too!”

“I was too! I’ve never left before!”

“Huh?” Asriel was smiling, but his face was confused. Chara didn’t even try to hide her confusion.

“I-I mean… it FEELS like I never leave the… house… to go see friends!”

“Oh! I get it! I get that way too sometimes.” Asriel bought the lie easily, but Chara wasn’t going to let it go that easily.

“Really… and where DO you live?” Now, I had realized I had definitely said too much. I looked over to Sans for help, but he was fast asleep. I guess Gaster did have us both working pretty late in the night…

I decided to change the subject instead. “I love the little heart around your neck!”

Chara didn’t press, and instead held hers up so I could see better, and Asriel did the same. “They’re our friendship pendants. It means we’d do anything for each other.” She was saying something nice, but she had a dark undertone in her voice. I didn’t really care though, as long as the topic was off of me.

“They’re really cool!” I said. I figured if I gave them enough compliments they’d be my friend. At least I hoped so, because I didn’t really have any other options. I didn’t know how to actually make friends.

As the day continued on, and lazy Sans continued to sleep, we did all sorts of things I’ve never tried before. For one thing, Asriel had one of those screens that display lab notes, but instead of lab notes, it was colorful and had little characters running around on it, and we used “controllers” to virtually beat each other up. At first I was a little afraid to try it, but it was really fun. I kept winning, too.

There were only two controllers, so there was a “winner stays on” rule. I didn’t know what they meant when they said that, since no one was actually ON anything, but since I kept beating up virtual characters, I got to keep beating up virtual characters. Chara was pretty good, but she kept trying to dodge more than the limits of the “game” would allow. She played some green character with a sword she called Link.

Asriel, on the other hand, played too nicely. He played a green creature that kind of looked like me, but he kept letting me take the items, and he wouldn’t bother me if I was mid-“charge” or if my virtual characters were eating virtual food. You’ll never get very far playing nice like that, will you?

Then we had some snacks. They were so flavorful! There was something called chocolate that Chara was obsessed with, but she wouldn’t let me have any. But I got “donuts”, “chips”, “cookies”, and so many other types of food that I’ve never seen before. I can’t even BEGIN to describe the flavor. I don’t think I’m ever going to have anything like that again in the lab…

They also taught me how to draw for fun. Did you know paper and pencil is not only used to document important information? You can draw lines, squiggles, and shapes without them being some form of diagram! I actually drew something to represent myself with my new friends- for fun! I have it taped to a wall in my room right now! But that’s not the only picture I have with them.

So, you know cameras, right? Well, they had one that could produce a picture instantly after taking it, so I got a physical copy, which I tape to the frame of my mirror so I never forget them when I inevitably never see them again.

There weren’t any problems throughout the day, and when Gaster came to bring me and Sans back to the lab, Asriel and Chara were sad to see us go. I’ll miss them. They’re probably the nicest people I’ve ever met, even nicer than Cards. She’s nice, but… she’s an amalgamate. These two are royalty, and one of them is human!

Not only that, when we got back to the normal lab, Gaster didn’t even run any tests on us today! In fact, he complimented me for being well mannered.

So here I am, after the most exciting day in my life. I always thought the surface would be great, but I never thought it would be THAT great. You know… maybe next time Gaster needs to go to the world above, I can ask him if I can keep Asriel and Chara company again. Because I think, for once, I actually have some real friends that weren’t created artificially. Isn’t that the craziest thing ever?

~Susie


	8. Susie the Scientist

Dear Diary,

Nothing really happens here. When I was younger, I guess I thought that was fine. I used to think it was fun to get trapped, or fix mistakes, or anything of the sort, but when there’s no problems… nothing interesting happens at all. Sans has moved higher in Gaster’s ranking, and now he’s a scientist rather than a test subject. I always wanted to be a scientist. I made a lab coat a while back. It’s not as nice as Gasters, but it looks close enough. Sometimes, when I don’t have anything else to do, I put it on. Then I tie my hair up. Not to get it out of my eyes, but to get it out of my eyes_ professionally _. Then I pick up a clipboard and put a pencil behind me ear, and I look in the mirror. I really do look like a scientist then. But instead, here I am, pretending I’m Gaster’s assistant, when really I’m just one of the ones he wants to watch most. I guess I shouldn’t complain. Cards only gets taken out of her cell about once a week to be tested on. I at least get to roam freely, tested on or not. But still. Sans is a scientist. I’m just kind of… here. I know most of the amalgamates hate me. I was a success, and they… weren’t. They all band together, and I know they’re making plans to overthrow Gaster, to escape, but I don’t stop them. Together, they’re unstoppable, and I know that. But… if they do find a way to escape… I know Cards won’t let them leave me behind. It’s not that I don’t like Gaster. I just want a chance at a normal life. Is that so much to ask for?

~Susie <strike> </strike>


	9. I Must Be Seeing Things!

Dear Diary,

I saw something weird today. It was myself, but… walking around the lab? I ran right into her, and as soon as we met eyes, she ran. I don’t know what that was, but… I’m scared. I’ve been scared for a while. Gaster doesn’t seem to like me that much. I’m a little worried I’m not powerful enough for him. I don’t want him to replace me. I don’t want to be a reject. I’ve said in the past that I want to escape, but really… I just want to be normal. I want to live in a normal house, with a normal family. I want to be able to call Gaster my dad. I want to be able to grow up to be whatever I want to be. I want to have friends, play games, eat snacks, and live the kind of normal life Asriel and Chara will undoubtedly live. Yeah… even though it’s been a year, I still can’t stop thinking about them. Their life was so different from mine. They lived life without worry, without fear, without… walking around in a lab and running into themselves without being surprised. I guess nothing can really surprise me anymore. Anyway, I think Cards really has just about lost it. She’s been acting really weird for a while now, but I think her powers are getting out of hand lately. Gaster seems to think that it’s a good thing she’s so powerful, but when she’s standing in the center of a bunch of hearts, diamonds, clubs, and spades circling around her, ready to attack anything at any moment, it makes me wonder if she really is okay. I asked her, and she said that she’s fine, just a little exhausted, but I don’t think that’s true. She’s had a new look on her face lately. Determination. I wonder if it really works for her. I wonder if it would work for me.

~Susie


	10. The Escape and The Change

Dear Diary,

I really am going to stay here my entire life. The amalgamates made their move today. They escaped. Without me. I don’t know where they went, but I know they made it to the world above. But not Cards. She told me that she tried to get them to take me with them, but when she did, they left her here. They tied her up so she couldn’t betray them while they made their escape. I feel awful. Now, me, Sans, and Cards are the only ones left. But I think Gaster realized his mistake. He told me to clean up the amalgamate cells with Sans, and when I came back to my room, it had been completely furnished. A normal room with a normal bed and normal clothes. It was decorated the way I’ve always wanted my dream room to look like. I drew a picture a while back, and I guess Gaster saw it, because I got exactly that. Everything is perfect. Today we had a normal meal, too. I guess he realized that me and Sans were eventually going to run off if he didn’t do anything to keep us here. He was right. I would have ran away, and soon. But I don’t know what’s going to happen with Cards. She’s taking the punishment for not saying anything, but luckily she didn’t tell Gaster that I knew it was going to happen. Sweet girl. I think she’s going to continue to be locked up. But she doesn’t seem to mind. She says that her cell is her world in which she can do whatever she pleases, and outside of it is Gaster’s world, and she doesn’t want to be trapped. I told her that’s crazy, and she told me that I just think that because I don’t have a world I’m free in like she does. I guess that’s just her way of coping with the position she’s in. I don’t know, but I guess I’ve really just stopped caring. I know I’ll never understand anyone, and I know they’ll never understand me. <strike>But who am I kidding? I’ll neve meet anyone to try to understand because I truly am going to be here my entire life. I was born here, and I will die here, and I will never see the world above or Asriel or Chara or anyone else again.</strike> But why don’t I try to be positive? I have a much nicer room with a much more “normal” feel to it, and at least the only thing I have that could possibly be called a friend didn’t betray me.

~Susie


	11. Gaster's Missing

Dear Diary,

I have no clue what’s going on. Gaster has been gone for days. He’s been working on something in the world above the True Lab, but I don’t know what it is.  <strike> I wonder if he forgot about us…  </strike> Me and Sans have had to do everything while he’s been gone. Neither of us, however, know how to cook. I dunno what he’s been eating, but I haven’t seen anything missing from the fridge. I, personally, have just been eating raw ingredients. It’s not as gross as it sounds, honestly. But I still miss having actual meals. It was left in a note that it was my responsibility to feed Cards some dog food. I thought it was weird, but when I asked her about it, she said she actually liked the taste of it. I tried some and it’s gross, but I’ll let her do what she wants. What’s really annoying is that, since Sans is a scientist while I’m just an assistant, he’s in charge. Not only that, he is supposed to continue running tests is Gaster’s absence. The problem is, Sans really doesn’t like me very much. So he’s been pushing me to my limits everyday, from the time he wakes me up until the time he lets me sleep, excusing me only to do chores, mine and his. But Gaster left him in charge and I don’t have a choice. That’s the rule around here. Whoever’s in charge gets listened to without question, or you suffer the consequences. I just hope Gaster comes back soon.

~Susie


	12. The Disappearance of W.D. Gaster

Dear Diary,

I don’t know what’s going to happen now. To me, to Cards, and even to Sans. And it’s all my fault.

This morning, Gaster woke me up. He told me I was now an official scientist. I couldn’t have been happier. He handed me a lab coat, then told me to come out for breakfast as soon as I got changed. So I did.

Sans was there too. He looked annoyed, as always, and glared at me when I came out. "Why do you have a lab coat?"

"Because  _ I'm  _ a scientist!" I said proudly.

He would have rolled his eyes if he had any. "Just don't get in anybody's way." He told me.

After breakfast, we went to the world above. I was so excited, I wasn't even worried about the reason why. We walked right by the king's castle, and I asked "What ever happened to Asriel and Chara?"

Gaster shook his head. "Both of them died a while back."

I didn't say another word. I knew things happened sometimes, but I didn't expect that they had died or anything… it hadn't been that long, had it? I wanted to cry, but I knew better to do it in front of them. I thought I would cry about it when we got back. That's not why I'm crying now.

We arrived at our destination. Gaster called it the CORE.

Me and Sans were just doing basic stuff at first. Running around, getting supplies for the real scientists, stuff of that nature. But at one point, it was just me and Gaster in a room with no railing. That's when it happened.

I had turned around to get Gaster a tool, and he screamed after a shake in the ground. I turned around to see him hanging off the walkway, and he slipped, and started falling. I quickly grabbed his arm, and tried to pull him up. But I couldn't.

He smiled at me for a moment when he noticed I was to weak. If I held on much longer, I would fall down with him. "Get Sans and get out of here." He ordered. He didn’t need to say anything else. We didn’t need to play the game of “let’s try to save a life”. We both knew we’d lose.

"Goodbye Susie. I'm sorry I could never be the father you've always wanted me to be." He pulled his arm out of my grasp and fell. I didn’t know he ever cared about me like that. Thinking back to it now, I wonder, did he ever see me as his daughter like I always wanted him to?

I followed his command, and ran out of the room, grabbing Sans who was right about to go in there. I dragged him as I ran as fast as I could, as far as I could. We escaped the CORE quickly.

"Susie, what are you doing?"

I couldn't respond to him. I started crying, and the whole CORE erupted with a strange liquid that looked like lava, but wasn't. It took over the CORE entirely, then left it behind, untouched. As if nothing had ever happened at all. "Sans, let's go home."

Sans was as wide-eyed as a skeleton can be. "Is he…?"

For the first time ever, Sans sounded vulnerable. I nodded.

We were heading back towards the True Lab when we first realized something was wrong. Asgore saw us crying, and walked up to us.

"Susie, Sans, is something wrong?"

"Didn't you see the CORE explode? Gaster was in it." I said bitterly.

"Gaster? I'm sorry, but who is Gaster? I don't believe I've ever heard of him." Asgore looked over at the CORE. “Oh.” He laughed. “I’ll let you two get back to your game now. But remember, only tell people who aren’t in on your game something like that if you mean it. We wouldn’t wanting anyone actually believing something like that?”

"What?" I looked to Sans, who also looked very confused. Asgore didn’t know Gaster ever existed, even though they talked together so many times. I don't know why.

When we finally got back to the normal lab, Sans picked up a sledge hammer. I quickly got out of range, but it wasn't to attack me. Instead, he destroyed the machine that allowed us to go from the lab to the True Lab.

"Sans, what are you doing? How's he going to get back?"

"He's not coming back! Don't you get it? He's dead. Gone. And we are NEVER going to see him again. And I don't ever want to see you again. Don't follow me."

He went into a hallway, and left holding a little skeleton he had bundled up in an orange blanket that had never seen before. And then he left. I don't think he's ever coming back.

So now I have to pick up the pieces. I have to learn to live without Gaster. It's funny though. My entire life, all I wanted was a chance to escape, and now I have it. So why is it so hard for me to take it?

~Susie


	13. The Aftermath

Dear Diary,

We ran out of food about a week ago. That’s when I realized we might have a problem. Cards has still refused to let me unlock her cell so she can roam freely. I guess she just likes it in there? But in the end, it doesn’t matter. We have to leave here, and soon. I searched the whole place for others, after seeing Sans take that other kid out of here I figured that maybe there were others. As far as I’m aware, there’s not. And looking for them forever would just drive me insane. They’ll die soon enough if they haven’t already. That’s not a very nice thing to say, but it’s true. If there were others, and they can’t find some way to save themselves, I certainly can’t help them. I’ve ate dog food for about a month so I wouldn’t starve to death, and if they can't adapt like I had, they can't live with whatever comes next anyway. I know I can’t stay here forever, but… it’s almost as if Gaster is still here, y’know? It’s like he’s around, but not in this world. I don’t know, but sometimes, I swear, I can still feel his presence. I think it’s just wishful thinking. It doesn’t matter. Soon, I need to go to the world above, and there’s nothing that can possibly change that.

~Susie


	14. Life or Death?

Dear Diary,

I don’t even begin to pretend I know what I’m doing. But today was the day I finally went up to the world above.

I grabbed a small bag, and put a couple things in it. I couldn’t take a larger bag. I didn’t know what was up there, and I didn’t want to be weighed down. I really only needed a couple things. I was wearing clothes, so I didn’t need to pack those, and there was nothing in my room I could find that I would die without. But I wanted a couple things. Specifically, my diary and my lab coat. Then, I grabbed my weapon of choice. An axe. Gaster had told me to always be able to fight, even if I couldn’t use my magic. So I had to learn how to use a real weapon too. But this wasn’t just any axe either. I pushed a button on the side, and it shrunk down until it was a bracelet. Pretty cool, huh? I slipped it on, and looked in my room one last time. All of the memories, all of the drawings, everything… it was time for me to leave it all behind. It was time for me to actually try and live the way I had always wanted to when I was younger. But, during my last check of things, I opened a drawer which contained a key on a chain. I guess it might have been for me? I put it on, and hid it under my shirt. Then, I was ready.

I went to Cards’ cell. “Cards, we’re leaving.”

“Why would we do that?” Confusion filled her face as she looked up from what she was doing, which was apparently ingraving hearts, diamonds, spades, and clubs into a wall. I don’t even begin to know how she was doing that.

“Because we’ll starve to death if we stay here.” I opened the cell. “Let’s go.”

Cards mumbled something of a complaint, but she followed, locking her cell behind her. “Where are we going?”

“To the world above.”

“Obviously. Where?”

“How am I supposed to know that?!” I didn’t mean to snap, but it worked, I guess. And so the two of us climbed the stairs that we had been forbidden to use before. Every step was one step farther from our old lives, and one step closer to our new ones.

When we reached the top of the steps, there was a large double door. It offered a lot of resistance, and creaked loudly when opened. A bright light immediately filled the dark staircase, and we stepped out onto the bright green grass.

I closed and locked the door behind me. Nobody needed to get in… or out. Whatever was in there was going to stay there, untouched forever. I couldn't think of a better fate.

Cards' eyes were wide. So were mine, I suppose. Colors weren't something either of us have been exposed to often, and in this place, we could see more color in one second then we ever did in the lab. Actually, that's not true, but it gives the effect I'm going for.

Air flowed wildly around us. I think it was called wind. Even in the world above the True Lab, we didn't have that. This was a new experience for me.

We walked away from the lab, and found a small town. Houses, stores, even something called a school. Of course, we didn't go into anything. In fact, we didn't interact with anyone until there was an issue.

At first we didn't notice a problem. Just a sudden lack of people around, which was what we were more comfortable with anyway. But then we heard screaming.

Assuming it was something that I needed to deal with, as loud noises tended to be back in the lab, I drew my attention over to it immediately. I ran towards the source, leaving Cards behind. Big mistake.

When I arrived, I saw a grown human pointing a sword at a girl with short brown fur and large antlers. So I did the first thing that came naturally to me.

I slipped off my bracelet and threw it in the air, and it transformed into an axe. The girl (who I guess was around my age?) watched in awe as I held out an axe twice my size in a threatening manner, glaring at the human.

But the human didn’t seem scared in the slightest. In fact, she smirked. I was confused, but then the girl pointed behind me. I turned around quickly, just in time to see myself get hit in the head and pass out.

I don’t know what happened after that, but when I woke up, I was locked in a closet. I pounded on the door, screaming for someone to let me out. And then someone opened it.

He was definitely human. A child, too, if humans aged the way monsters did. But before I could move, or even say anything, he closed the door again. I screamed, shouted, cried out for his help, but he ignored me. He didn’t come save me, and the closet was empty. It was just me in the dark.

So, I blasted the door into dust. But, it seemed that everyone knew I was awake, because the one who tried to kill the other monster earlier was standing right outside the door. The women clapped.

“Very nice. It seems you monsters really DO have a lot of power. Very interesting. You don’t have anywhere else to go, do you? Well don’t worry, you can live here, with us.”

I gave her a confused look. One moment she was attacking me, and the next she wanted to take care of me. It didn’t make any sense. “What do you mean?” I asked, trying to keep a neutral tone. Gaster had always told me that rule number one of dealing with an enemy is to not let them know you’re afraid. Because then they’ll take advantage of that fear. I tried to keep myself from shaking.

“Well, we DID kill your family, so you don’t have anyone to take care of you. But we could use something with your power. So what do you say? We let you live, and you do what we say, alright?”

I paused. “I don’t have a family. You’re lying.”

The women gave me a curious look. “What, did they already abandon you? Even better. What do you say, then? Have a place to stay, as long as you follow our every command? You don’t exactly have many options. You would die out there by yourself. After all, you don’t even have a family to come save you, and this is a mainly human town. We have friends who could hunt you down, if we needed them to. So, live, or die?”

I couldn’t tell if she was lying. But she was right, I really didn’t have anywhere else to go. “Live.” I whispered.

“Wonderful. So, do you things have names?”

“It’s Susie.”

“Susie what?”

“What do you mean Susie what?”

“What is your LAST name. I recommend you don’t try to play games with the one in control of your life, Susie. Tell me your last name.”

“Last name? What’s that?”

The women faced palmed. “Monsters are idiots. It means your family name. What is the name you shared in common with your family before they left you?”

“You mean like something that identifies who my father was?”

“Yes, that. What is it, Susie?”

“Gaster. My last name is Gaster.”

“Wonderful. See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? You are going to have to learn how to act like a human, Susie, and that includes being intelligent like one. Now, I know that’s hard for your little monster brain to comprehend, but…”   
“I can comprehend what you’re saying completely! You’re just wrong!” I quickly covered my mouth. I didn’t usually have a temper like that. I should probably get that under control.

“Let’s see then. Write me five page essay on human and monster history, then. You’ll have twenty minutes. If you succeed, I’ll believe you are somewhat literate. If you fail, then you get to clean , the entire house, top to bottom until it’s spotless. Understand?”

I nodded. “Give me some paper and a pen.”

“Ugh, we’ll have to teach you manners, too.” She pointed to a chair. “Sit there.” I did, and she came back with five pages of notebook paper and a fancy pen. Then she started a timer. “Go.”

It was easy. Gaster had taught me so much about human and monster history, that I could have done twenty pages, probably. After about ten minutes, I said “Finished!”

The human ran over, and grabbed my paper. “What is this?”

“What you asked for.”

“All you did was doodle all over the page!”

“No, I didn’t doodle at all. Do you want me to read it to you?”

“Yes. Do that.”

I did, word for word.

“Okay, do it again,”

“Umm… why?”

“Because if you really CAN read this, there shouldn’t be any difference in what you say. But if you can’t, there will be. Got it? Now do it.”

I did it again, and again, and again. Each time she seemed more and more defeated, as if she truly expected I couldn’t read Wingdings. But the truth was, SHE couldn’t read Wingdings. I, on the other hand, could do it easily. It turns out, humans use a different font. She was truely intrigued.

“Write out the alphabet.” She demanded, and I complied, neatly writing out every symbol. She stared at it in disbelief. “Why are you doing that?”

“Because it’s the font I learned from Gaster.”

“What?” She was truly confused, and so was I. I had never heard that Wingdings wasn’t normal. Sans had always had trouble using Wingdings, but Sans was a skeleton, and skeletons had unique fonts. I guess I just never thought that I may be using the font unique to Gaster. And I never thought that anyone in the world above wouldn’t know how to read it. So she decided to break it down.

We spent the next little while going letter by letter, me writing it my way, and saying to out loud so she could be sure that it was the correct letter. Then she would draw the symbol, then write t in her weird font. Then, she told me to draw her weird symbol. I didn’t get the point of it, but I drew a chart in the back on the last page if your curious, diary. It really doesn’t make much since why you would write like that, though.

It was pretty late, and I was hungry, and I think she could tell. “Do you want something to eat before we continue?”

I nodded. At least she understood that.

She started walking out, but then she asked, “Susie, do you know how to cook?”

“No, I don’t. Usually if no one else makes food, I just eat it raw.”

She gave me a weird look. “That’s not safe for anyone!”

“So? I was hungry.”

“Okay, okay, well… why don’t I teach you then?”

“Teach me?”

“How to cook, I mean. You’re a little young, but you’re also a little young to write a huge essay on history in a minute, so I suppose that doesn’t matter to monsters, does it?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t met many.”

“What do you mean? Wasn’t that your hometown?”

“No. I just got up there around twenty minutes before you knocked me out. That was my first time.”

She was very confused. “...We’ll talk about this after dinner. C’mon, let’s try and make something simple to start.”

So, for the first time since creation, I cooked something. It was kind of fun, despite the fact it was with some stuck-up human and everything was labelled in the weird font. We made some fancy thing I had never seen before, and it was alright. The human kid showed up too, to get some. I’m not really sure what’s with him. He just showed up, got his food, and left. It was pretty weird.

After dinner, the women said “You must be tired, aren’t you? Why don’t you get some sleep? Tomorrow we have a lot more to do, so you need to be awake for that.”

She led me back into to the closet I had woken up in, but now there was a lamp, and blanket, some clothes, and my bag with my diary and lab coat in it. Also, I had noticed that we had gone through that one kid’s room to get here, so I guess it used to be his closet. “Goodnight Susie.” She pushed me into the closet, and shut the door (it was a new one, made of a much stronger material). I could hear a click, and knew she locked it. Then I heard her walk away. I had started writing this diary entry, when I heard the door open, and someone else walk in, someone much lighter, and probably younger.

“Hello?” I called, leaning my back against the door.

“Yes?” It was that kid, and it was the first time I’ve actually heard him speak. I head him sit down on the other side of the door.

“I’m Susie. What’s your name?”

“Kris.”

“So, is that lady your mother?”

“Yes.”

“What’s it like, being human?”

“What’s it like being a monster?”

“How am I supposed to describe that to someone who isn’t a monster?”

“Exactly.”

There was a moment of silence, then I started laughing. “You’re right, that was a stupid question, wasn’t it?”

“It was.”

Another moment of silence, then I asked “So what do you do for fun?”

“What do you do?”

“Write in my diary. Pretend I’m a well-known scientist. Talk to imaginary friends.”

“Sounds like you’re easily entertained.”

“I just don’t have much excitement in my life. Everything’s so predictable!”

“Did you predict this?”

“Well… no.”

“So is it really that predictable?”

“Guess not.”

Silence fell once again, until Kris plainly said “Goodnight Susie.”

“Goodnight Kris.”

Guess everything isn’t so predictable, after all.

~Susie


	15. Update on the Human Lifestyle

Dear Diary,

The rigor has definitely increased in what it is I have to do. Kris’ mom is always testing my magical abilities, and pushing me to my extreme limits. Humans don’t understand that monsters require magic, and I keep passing out when she makes me do too much. Mainly, she’s trying to use it to make her life easier, which isn’t really it’s purpose. Yes, it can be useful in creative ways, and I have used my abilities to do my chores many more times then Gaster knows about, but not if I’m gonna hurt myself doing so. But she just doesn’t know that, and doesn’t really care, either.

Lessons on how to be more human haven’t stopped either. She’s constantly trying to teach me her font and learn mine, but neither of us are really understanding. I can’t write in a different font, because it’s not the font I learned how to write in. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact I was taught how to write extraordinary quickly, efficiently, and accurately. Back in the lab, it was a must. So now it’s just a normal thing for me.

But writing isn’t the only thing she’s working towards. She’s also trying to teach me how to cook, clean, have good manners, have good hygiene, and overall be a socially acceptable person in human society. To be perfectly honest, that could be true in monster society too, I just wouldn’t know.

Either way, it’s been really exhausting, and she’s even stricter than Sans when it comes to what's good enough to be acceptable and what’s not. But even still, me and Kris have our conversations every night before we sleep. We both sit against the door, and talk about whatever we want to. Usually I’m leading to conversation, and every now and again, Kris will say something really weird and out of place, but he’s my friend. Yep, even in everything, I finally made a true friend who isn’t some lab creation like I am.

~Susie


	16. Dinner Party

Dear Diary,

Today was… an experience. I had noticed that leading up until now, manners have been a much larger priority over other things like writing and cooking. And today I found out why. When I was woken up today, Kris’ mom, who's name was apparently Katy as I found out later, was holding a fancy pink dress.

“What’s that for?” I asked, looking up at her drowsily.

“You’re going to have to look your best today, Susie. Get dressed in this and join me in the vanity room so I can do your hair and make-up.”

“Huh? What’s make-up?”

She looked shocked, then forced a smile. “Susie, dear, it’s to make you look your best. We have a lot to do today, and so little time.”

“What are we doing?”

“Stop questioning me and get ready. I’ll explain in a couple moments.”

I stopped questioning her and got ready. As I walked out of my closet, I saw Kris just sitting on his bed, not doing anything in particular. “Do you know what’s going on?”

“Yes.”

“Care to explain?”

“No. I’m sick.” He faked a cough.

“No you’re not. What’s going on?”

“Find out.”

I rolled my eyes and went to the vanity room. I was sat down in front of a mirror, and Katy started running a brush through my tangled mess I call hair.

She went through a couple bottles of detangling spray, and said multiple of the words Gaster used to say when something wasn’t working right or the Agamates got out (again!!!). She also broke two brushes. But, finally, my hair was so straight you could run your fingers through it without pulling my head along with it. She vowed to brush my hair everyday from now on. Whatever.

Then it got… interesting. She took out a large box full of all sorts of weird, colored things, and looked up at my face, then back at her options.

“Susie darling, how am I supposed to put make-up on something purple? I want to make you look more dressed up, but…”

“How am I supposed to know?” I shrugged. “I’ve never worn make-up before. Maybe there’s a reason.” Yes, and that reason is because I have absolutely no social life, but that’s besides the point.

She sighed, and closed the box. “I finally get to dress someone up, and I can’t put make-up on you. I guess I should try to handle Kris for now. Could you hold him down while I brush his hair?”

“Huh?”

“He REALLY hates getting dressed up, especially when I brush his hair. But, it has to be done.”

“What exactly are we doing today?”

“Well, some of my friends have been wondering what I’ve been up to, and why I’ve been so busy, so I thought I would… show off my progress to them. But I need you on your best behavior, okay? No powers unless someone tells you to, and remember to use all of your manners. Now, help me hold Kris down.”

“...Okay…”

“Just, walk in there innocently, look like you’re going to your closet, and then rush at him when he least expects it!”

“Doesn’t sound like very good manners…”

“Just do it.”

I nodded, and walked into Kris’ room, who was still on high alert. I walked towards my closet, grabbed the door, and…

I lunged at Kris. “Sorry.” I muttered, as I used all of my strength to pin him against a wall. It was actually much easier then I expected, and I think I might have hurt him. His bones were like twigs, and he was so fragile seeming. I loosened my grip a little to allow him to breathe. He gasped for air.

“What are you doing?” He finally asked, something close to urgency in his voice.

“Sorry Kris, I gotta do what I gotta do. Don’t squirm or I might hurt you.”

Of course, he didn’t listen to me, and kept squirming, so I had to tighten my grip around him again. Then, his mom came in.

“Kris, dear, you know what time it is!” She didn’t seem at all worried that I may have just broke one of her son’s ribs.

She took out a brush, and tried to get closer to Kris, but he still wouldn’t allow it.

“Come on, Kris. It’s not that bad.” I said, trying to keep his head still.

He finally gave up, going limp in my grasp. Guess it was just too much for him to keep fighting.

His mom smiled, and brushed his hair without much more resistance. He kept his eyes closed, though. I guess he just didn’t want me to see his eyes.

But his mom brushed his hair out of his eyes, and clipped it there. He went to pull it back over his eyes, but she said “Kris, you have to look your best. You should look at your guests, not hide behind your bangs. Now open your eyes, Kris.”

He paused, then opened them to reveal two bright red eyes.

“Awesome!” I said, without thinking. I didn’t know much about humans, so I didn’t know how common red eyes were, but they looked so cool. “But Kris… you kind of look like a girl I met a long time ago.” It was true. He looked a lot like Chara with his hair like that.

Kris looked miserable. He didn’t say anything.

“Kris, go ahead and change into a nice outfit, then join me in the dining room. I need to make sure Susie knows proper table manners, and you could use a refresher, too.”

Again, he didn’t say anything, and Katy led me out into the dining room, when she had set up three fancy plates with multiple forks and spoons. I sat down at one of them, without thinking.

“No Susie, you have to properly pull out your chair, sit down neatly, and scoot your chair back in.”

“Does it make a difference?”

“Yes. It does. Now try again.”

I tried again, making it more visually pleasing to watch me place my butt in a seat.

“Okay, now back straight.” She straighten my back. “Shoulders down. And don’t squirm. I’m going to go check on Kris.”

I sat there, slouching and swinging my legs, waiting for her to come back. This was really stupid. Eventually, she came back, pulling Kris along with her. He was in a tuxedo, and looked like he hated every minute of this.

I quickly fixed my posture. But it didn’t matter.

“Susie, please stand up and push in your chair. Kris, I want you to pull it out for her, and push it in for her when she sits down. Then you should sit next to her.”

I followed directions, and so did Kris. It was… weird. No one has ever really done anything for for me, especially not pull out my chair for me. But, Kris did, and I felt sort of like a princess, in a weird way. Once I had met Chara and Asreil, I loved the idea of royalty, and wouldn’t stop talking about it. Eventually, Gaster gave me a book of human fairy tales. Now that I think back, me must have translated it into the Wingdings font for me too. Either way, I remember how often I would read them, only understanding bits and pieces due to how many human and world above references there were, but I would always pretend I was a princess. I had even convinced Gaster to redecorate my room to be more princess-like. And now I was here, in a fancy dress, hair brushed, having my chair pulled out for me by a boy who was also dressed up.  <strike> It was like he was my prince charming.  </strike> It was nice to have someone care about me like that.

After that, we were told exactly what fork to use to eat what. We had to eat breakfast and lunch in fancy ways, and then we had to help when it came to making dinner.

We weren’t cooking, just assisting, and it was pretty nostalgic. While Katy made the food, she told us exactly what to do, and had us do it quickly and efficiently. It reminded me of Gaster, in a way. As assistants, me and Sans would be told to do things, and if we didn’t do it quickly and precisely, something could get messed up, such as a chemical explosion or even so much as killing whatever we were working with. And now, if we didn’t do everything correctly, the food would burn or be gross. It was kind of fun, but Kris seemed more stressed than anything. Guess 

he didn’t like doing stuff like this.

Eventually, when all sorts of fancy foods I have never seen before were completed, we were told to go into the living room. Kris went to turn on the TV, but Katy told him not to and to instead sit, and have idle chit-chat. He sat and sulked instead. I still don’t know what a TV actually is… I’ve just heard Kris mention it a couple times.

So, after a while of silence, boredom, and “best behavior” lectures, there was a knock on the door.

Katy told us to correct our postures, then answered it with a smile and a “welcome” as multiple guests (mostly human, with only one monster who had a clam for a head) came in the doors.

I had fixed my posture, Kris had not, but there was nothing Katy could do about it then. If I wasn’t such a nice person, I would have stuck my tounge out at her and slouched over, but I didn’t. Instead, I sat up straight, and tried to look friendly, even as all the humans looked at me weirdly. One of them poked me, and another started putting their hand in front of my face as if to find out if I could see it or not. I could.

The humans talked about their children’s success in “school” or whatever, how weird I looked, how their garden was doing, and other stuff of the sort. They didn’t seem to have ANYTHING better to talk about. I actually almost fell asleep. Guess I don’t get enough sleep when I spend all my sleeping time writing in my diary and talking to Kris. But, finally, it was time to eat.

We were expected to help carry the food out, and I was about to help, when one of the humans shouted “Hey! Monster! Do a magic trick!”

“A magic trick? You mean you want me to use my magic?”

“Isn’t that what you do? Do something cool for us! Turn someone into a toad or something!”

“...What’s a toad?”

“Are you serious? Are you monsters that dumb?”

Wow, humans are annoying, aren’t they? “I’m not dumb, I’m most likely more intelligent then all of you combined. I’ve studied science since my creation.”

“Creation?”

“Yeah, in a lab.”

All of the humans stopped, and looked at me. “You’re a lab rat?”

“What’s a rat?”

The human sighed, as if talking to a small child. I suppose she was, since she was obviously an adult, but I’m probably smarter than her in everyway about some things, but it didn’t really show since she kept talking about things exclusive to the world above.

The humans continued to insult me, until Kris had finally had enough of it. “Leave her alone.” He said, putting down the plate he was carrying.

“You’re defending a monster?” One of the humans asked, accusingly.

“I am. Leave her alone before I make you leave her alone.”

“Katy get your child to behave!” One of the humans demanded.

Katy ran in there. “Kris, why don’t you go lay down?”

“I’m not tired.”

“I’m sure you don’t think you are, but you haven’t gotten enough sleep lately. Just go lie down for a little bit.”

“I’m not going to do this anymore.” Kris unpinned his hair. “This party it over. Everyone get out.”

“Kris! We haven’t even eaten yet.”

“You’re right. There is still the food. We should deal with that.” He started hurling the food at the guests, who started screaming.

“That looks like the most fun I had in a while!” I said, and I joined him. And so me and him ended up throwing all of the food we worked so hard on at all the snobs who called me a lab rat (even though I still don’t know what that means). They all ran out of the place in a hurry. I suppose it wasn’t the most fairytale dinner I could have had, but, the prince did save the princess. And I was happy. Maybe I didn’t have to be proper and wear pretty pink. Maybe all I needed to do was throw food to assert my dominance. They both had a similar outcome. Me getting what I wanted. And that’s what royalty does, right? Get their way?

Anyway, me and Kris got in a lot of trouble afterwords. We had to clean up the place, and make it “sparkle”. However, when I threw glitter everywhere so it would actually sparkle, I was told I had to clean up every last bit of it. That didn’t happen. That stuff is really hard to clean up, and I’m pretty sure we’ll be finding random pieces of it for years to come.

Then we had to hand write formal apology notes. I started in Wingdings, but Katy told me to write it in her font. So I tried, and failed. It was a mess. Eventually, she just took the pen from my hand and told me to go to my closet.

So here I am, in my closet, writing in my diary. I have a feeling this isn’t the end of what’s going to be expected of me, but I don’t really care. It was worth it. Seeing those human’s expression after they were so mean to me, it was awesome. I wish I could do that more often, instead of being locked in a closet talking to a boy on the other side of an obsidian door. I don’t know what Kris is doing, and I don’t know what I’m going to have to do, but I guess I’ll find out soon enough, right?

~Susie


	17. Punishment

Dear Diary,

Well, I found out what I had to do. For a while now, I’ve been having to use my abilities nonstop to do every household chore there is, and I don’t even get to eat until certain ones are done. Katy’s gone too far this time. I keep passing out, and waking up to her throwing water on my face. Then I have to do everything all over again. She’s finally gave me a day’s rest (probably because I’ve been passing out more and more), but I’m not allowed outside of the closet.

I really did break one of Kris’ ribs, so he’s been resting for the past while. I actually don’t know how long it’s been, since I’ve been in and out. I know Kris isn’t going to get away with what he did either, but Katy cares about him because he’s human, and broken ribs are a bit more pressing then magic energy loss, especially to someone who doesn’t understand it’s importance. I need it to live, but she either doesn't know that, or doesn't care.

Kris hasn’t tried to talk to me today, so I’ve basically just been here by myself. I put on my lab coat for a bit, and started pretending I was back in the lab. Then I put on my dress from the dinner party, and pretended I was Princess Susie, ruler of the world above. It was fun, but… I’m so bored of all of this! I’m on the world above! I should be outside, making friends! Not locked in a closet trying to regain my energy so I can do more chores! Every window is boarded up, and the door needs ten keys just to be unlocked, and it’d be hard to break down. I think part of the reason I’ve been forced to use my abilities so much is so that I can’t break out. Smart, but I wouldn't even try if it weren't for the fact that my life depends on escaping sooner rather than later.

Back when I was in the lab, I wanted leave so badly, just to be forced to and hate it. But now, I don’t think I would regret anything that happened as long as I got out. Well, unless that means I lose Kris. I want to escape this place, and take Kris with me. That’s the only reason I’m still here now. Well that, and I don’t have the energy to get free.

I have a plan. If I could set my own limits, and force myself to pass out BEFORE I use all of my energy, not only will I not feel like crap, I can actually prepare myself to successfully escape. And I think it will work!

~Susie


	18. Adrenaline

Dear Diary,

When I was woken up, I was still dizzy from all of my power loss. I expected to have to get back to work, but instead Katy told me to go to the kitchen for breakfast, not giving me a list of chores to do before I do so.

When I walked to the kitchen, I smelled something delicious. Katy called them pancakes. They were these flat little disks made of something-or-other, and they were really good. We also put something on top of it- called syrup- which was sweet and flavorful, and it made the pancakes more fun to eat because they were sticky. It really brought back memories of that time I spent with Chara and Asriel. After all, they were the first and only people to ever have given me something to eat that wasn’t just for nutritional purposes. It was also for taste, and even with a multitude of fancy dinners, no one had ever given me something that even came close to what I had back then.

Curious as to why she had the sudden change of heart, I took my time eating so Katy could talk to me for longer. She apologized for being so harsh on me, and then told me that we were going somewhere today.

Apparently Kris was actually pretty seriously injured, and we needed a doctor to help him. The only time I had ever heard the word doctor before was when others from the world above would addressed Gaster as “Doctor Gaster”.

I had to go get dressed, and Katy carefully woke up Kris. He didn’t really want to go anywhere, much less outside, but Katy told him he had to.

But, I was honestly pretty excited. Even if Kris was wincing in pain just to stand up, I was going to go outside!

So, eventually, we all ended up in front of the door, Katy unlocking ten different locks, and letting us out. The light was bright, and hurt my eyes, but I didn’t care. I was outside.

But before I could really get a chance to enjoy it, I was pushed into Katy’s car, which would not open from the inside. Guess she didn't want me jumping out while she was driving. I'm not that stupid.

Kris was wincing at every bump, and since there were so many cars, we were stopping a lot which caused us to fall backwards often, bumping Kris around even more. So, I moved over to him, and put my arms around him, keeping him steady as possible. I was careful not to be too rough, and though he winced, it didn’t seem to hurt him like it did in the past. I feel pretty bad about breaking his ribs, but I didn’t mean to. I guess I just expected him to be as strong as the amalgamates. But I know now.

We finally arrived at the “hospital” which is apparently where sick and injured humans go to recover. It was similar to the lab in a lot of ways. Cold, sterile, strange loud noises, fancy machinery, people in white coats, people with varying degrees of injuries, and all sorts of stuff like that. It was wonderful. I had missed all of these feelings, these smells, the bright fluorescent lights, and all these things that were just slightly too harsh for comfort.

“Susie, sit here with Kris, and don’t get up, okay?” I nodded, and looked around. Everyone here was human, and looking at me. Guess they don’t see monsters come here often.

I scooted closer to Kris, and stared back at everyone. Some of them flinched away, scared. Others just made their glare harsher, but one of them…

A human adult approached me. I wasn’t scared.

“What’s a monster doing in a human hospital?” She asked, though her voice was more mocking than curious.

“What’s a human doing bothering a monster that hasn’t bothered her?”

“Don’t talk back to me, you dusty piece of scum.”

“Obviously you don’t know much about monsters. Most monsters around here would likely get dusty if you were to kill them, but they aren’t dusty on a regular basis.”

“Oh I know.” She punched me in the face. Hard. Then she kicked me in the stomache while I was still surprised. Everyone was watching, and most of them were laughing. It hurt, too. But it’s not like I’ve never been hurt before.

I sat there, defending myself as much as possible, but I was never really taught defensive magic. I should probably look into that…

They kept attacking me, and I coughed up some blood. I didn’t even know that was possible. I was bleeding everywhere, constantly getting hit more and more, but I didn’t do anything. I had never been taught to do anything in this situation, and I didn’t plan on doing anything, either. That is, until someone brought Kris into this.

At first it was by accident. In an attempt to protect me, Kris threw a pillow from a couch in the waiting room at one of the humans, but then they all turned to him, stopping their attack on me.

And then they all starting attacking Kris, who was much weaker than me. If I were human, I would’ve been dead by then, and I knew it too. I couldn’t let them hurt Kris.

So if I couldn’t heal, what else was there to do but hurt?

Before I knew what I was doing, I felt magic energy gather inside of me, even though I’ve done nothing but use it for the longest time and was still so dizzy from overuse. I should have passed out as soon as it began.

But I didn’t.

A warm light surrounded me, and my hair started flowing as if I was standing right in front of a large fan. In case it wasn’t clear, I was not. My physical body also reacted to the sudden use of extreme amounts of energy, healing me entirely. I didn’t know I could do that. I should’ve been tired, exhausted even, but honestly, I think I’ve just always have had a limit my own body has set to prevent me from hurting myself. But in extreme emergencies, I could take a lot more hits and use a lot more energy. It just wasn’t exactly good for me to do. But the drawbacks come later, similar to adrenaline. But that’s not what this was.

The humans all stopped and looked at me, with expressions somewhere in between surprised and terrified, and some in awe. I collected my energy in my hands, then released it in a large burst. At the same time, I created a shield around Kris, protecting him, and healing his wounds, too. Then, a large blast overtook everything, everyone screaming in apparent pain. They deserved it. I smiled, keeping it up. It was there fault for hurting us. I wasn’t going to let them get away with it. Good thing they were in a hospital, because they needed one when I was through with them!

After a long time of constant attack, I finally fell, passing out, and in the last minute, I thought I felt Kris lower me to the ground carefully so I wouldn’t get hurt.

That was a couple of days ago.

Bet you weren’t expecting that, were you, diary?

Yep, I was asleep for days, apparently. In fact, when I woke up, I was in a real bed.

I was really dizzy and drained, and I was in Katy’s room. I stood up, almost falling back over, and walked out.

I could smell food, so I stumbled over to the kitchen. Katy was in there, cooking, and she looked over at me.

"Well, finally awake, huh?" She walked towards me. "You got me in a lot of trouble, you know that? If you weren't just a dumb monster, you would have been arrested, and probably killed. You're lucky I'm so good at negotiation."

"Negotiation?"

"You're going to work for the town from now on, Susie. No more of the nice easy household chores. Your going to use the limits of your power daily. No more breaks, and no more going easy on you. I just don't care about how you feel anymore."

So that's how it was. I was given food, then sent to my closet to recover. And that's that.

Except it wasn't.

There was a knock on my door.

"Yes?" I called out, dizzily.

"Thank you." It was Kris.

He didn't say anything else.

And neither did I.

A princess doesn't need to tell a prince what she's feeling.

~Susie


	19. Justice

Dear Diary,

I'd like to say that I'm surprised.

But I'm not.

Not in the slightest. I knew it was going to happen.

I killed Katy.

And I meant to.

I was so tired, and she kept pushing and pushing and pushing.

Back in the lab, no matter what your ranking, everyone knew that everyone else had limits. It was plain and simple. Don’t push someone past their limits, and they’ll be fine. Maybe a bit exhausted, but it was clear when someone was tired and when someone needed to stop using their abilities.

I reached that point a very long time ago.

I couldn’t keep it up. Everyday I was forced outside, but not for fun. To work. To do things like move wrecked cars, or catch robbers, or even just mow someone’s lawn, but only with my magic. They wouldn’t allow me to do anything physically. I constantly passed out, just to be woken up again, by force, to continue. I’m probably going to be very limited in my power for a very long time. I decided I’d get back at her.

A while back ago, I saw something in her room. A drawer labeled “Susie” in whatever font she uses. She taught me how to read it, so it’s her own fault. So, I purposely caused a fire to distract her.

It wasn’t hard. She told me to cook dinner, so I put a thing of paper towels on the burner. Then, I acted as if it wasn’t on, and she couldn’t tell. When they started flaming, I let them go for a couple minutes to let it get bigger. The paper towels almost exploded in a way, breaking off into a lot of tiny pieces and flying through the air. It was like a party from a book I once read. But much more dangerous.

Then, I screamed, pretending to be scared, and she came running. She told me to get away from it, and go into my closet while she dealt with it. So instead I went into her room.

I opened the drawer to find my bracelet that could turn into an axe. I was wondering where she had put that. I slipped it on. But there was another thing. One that I couldn’t let slide. She had a copy of every page of this diary, in a folder, and it translated into her font as well.

I didn’t plan on killing her before that moment. I just wanted to see what she had, hoping it would be something that would help me. But at that very moment, all I felt was rage. My diary was for me alone. Not her. So that’s when I decided this had to end.

I walked up to her, and she was still putting out the flames.

“Susie,” She said, exhausted. “Get away. You’re going to get burnt.”

“I don’t care.”

“Susie, don’t you dare get an attitude with me!”

“Why not?”

“You are not to talk back to your superiors like that. Are we understood?”

“No. I want you to understand for once.”

“H-huh?” She looked a little nervous. I guess it must have been my expression, though I can’t remember it now.

I smiled at her, for the first time in a while, if I ever have at all. She backed up a little.

“S-Susie, p-please, let’s j-just… w-why don’t w-we talk about th-this?”

“Nah.” I pushed her backwards into the flames. She started screaming. I held my axe out, ready to attack her if she tried to escape.

She screamed for Kris’ help, and then mine. I just stood there, watching her burn and scream. She was terrified. In a way, I almost felt bad. But… it was her, or me. I couldn’t take much more of this, anyway. So, I watched her die. When I was sure she was dead, I ran upstairs to Kris’ room.

I grabbed the bag I had brought with me that first day, and I filled it up with everything that I could fit. Then, I woke up Kris, who was sleeping.

“We have to go. Now.”

Kris seemed unphased. He nodded, then climbed onto my back. I wasn’t expecting that, but for some reason, I didn’t mind it.

Together, we ran out of the burning house, leaving Katy’s dead body behind.

I don’t know if Kris ever knew what happened to her. But I knew where I had to take him.

It had been year.

There wasn’t much to report during that time, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t believe that, diary.

But it sure felt longer. I think I’m starting to understand figurative language. It  _ felt _ like it’s been many years, when it’s really only been one. I guess that’s the best way to describe it.

But there I was, in front of the lab.

I don’t know how I found my way back. I don’t care.

I put Kris down to stand on his own two feet. Then I pulled the key that I’ve kept around my neck since I first found it, and unlocked the door.

As soon as I opened it, I immediately felt the cold air and could smell the nostalgic sterile smell. I was home.

Kris had a confused look. I grabbed his hand, and led him down the dark narrow stairs, shutting the door behind us. I had forgotten how dark the stairs were.

The two of us stumbled down, and I reached for a switch on the side of the wall. All at once, the lights turned on, revealing the lab I had spent the first 10 years after my creation in.

I don’t really know why, but I fell to my knees, and started crying. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but I just let it happen. Kris stood behind me, looking around I think. He didn’t try to make contact with me during that time. I’m glad he didn’t.

After a while of that, I stood up, acting as if that didn’t just happen. I had work to do, anyway.

“Susie, where exactly are we?”

That’s when I realized Kris had no clue who I actually was.

He knew me, of course, but with all of our time spent together, I had not once mentioned the lab or anything leading up to my capture.

But, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t exactly know much about what he did when he wasn’t around me either.

I knew he went to “school” during some days, but other than that, he didn’t really do much.

He didn’t have friends, and that’s what surprised me.

I had expected that everyone from the world above had a lot of friends, and yet, Kris didn’t. It was a surprising realization that I realized just then that we knew very little about each other. And yet, it didn’t bother me much.

Because it made what I needed to do next much easier.

“Kris, I… I want to show you something.” I led Kris down hallways that I had memorized a long time ago. I led him to one room in particular, one I had never messed with, but I had heard from Sans what it does.

It makes you forget.

It makes you forget everything.

And that’s what I did to Kris.

It wasn’t out of malicious intent. In fact, quite the opposite. I wanted Kris to forget having a mother in the first place, since he didn’t have one any more. I wanted Kris to forget everything about me, and how I affected his life. I wanted a second chance, and he was the only one who wasn’t directly involved with my past in the lab that knew me on a personal level. But, I think he knew what I was going to do before I did it.

He looked kind of sad, but then smiled at me. He whispered that it was okay, and then he did something I’ve only seen in story books. He pulled me close to him, and put his lips on mine. I think that was a kiss. So I kissed him back. And we sat there, kissing, for what felt like a long time. In actuality, it was probably less than a minute, but I’m starting to like this figurative language thing.

Then, afterwards, I pushed him into a chair, tying him down. Although I had never used this before, apparently Gaster had written clear instructions of how to use it. I followed them, and pushed a button. I shielded my eyes as a large flash took over the room, and then I checked on Kris. He was out cold. He wouldn’t remember anything at all when he woke up.

I wasn’t sure what to do with him. I felt bad, but… I picked him up and carried him to the school here. I still don’t know what that is, but it seemed like a safe place to leave him. I couldn’t take care of him.

I then returned to the lab. I considered unpacking my things into my old room, but instead, I didn’t. I decided to leave it be. I instead went to one of the extra rooms that was intended for use of any other specimen that may have made it to a higher rank. None of them ever did, so it was never used. It was just a bed in a blank room. Perfect for a second chance.

So I started by searching the lab for new furniture. A desk, a chair, a shelf, some paper, and anything else I decided would be a good addition to my new room. I didn’t even open the door to my old one.

The room was bare still, with boring colors and no decorations, but I decided I’d work on that some other time. I don’t really care at the moment.

But now I wonder. What will happen now that I have no one to take care of me? I don’t have anyone at all. Sans hates me, Kris doesn’t remember me, Cards is missing, and I have no clue what even happened to Gaster. It’s just me all alone in a once busy lab with nothing to learn. So what’s even the point?

I guess I’ll either find out, or I won’t.

~Susie


	20. What Happened Next

Dear Diary,

I don’t know where Kris is, but I’m sure he’s okay.

To be perfectly honest, he could be  _ not _ okay, or even dead, but somehow, I find it hard to believe that he is. All I know for a fact, however, is that he’s not where I left him.

Food has been somewhat hard to come by, but I generally just take it from certain places after dark.

Someone, I suppose Gaster, had left something of a cloak behind, so I’ve been wearing that at night and no one really notices me. Then, I break windows, or sometimes even just open unlocked doors, and fill up a large bag with all sorts of stuff. Food mostly, but every now and again I grab clothes, supplies, and other stuff that will make my life at least somewhat easier. Then, I run back to the lab before morning. I haven’t been caught yet. There’s also this ally where someone leaves a bowl of milk, so I guess it’s for something? Either way, I drink that too.

So I guess that’s basically all that I can really tell you for now. No one else is in the lab, and nobody knows me on the world above, so I guess I STILL don’t have any friends. I don’t know where Cards went, still, but I think I have solved at least one mystery. One of the places I steal from is called “Sans’”. I guess I know where he went. But I’m not going to go talk to him. He doesn’t even know I’m still alive, and I don’t really care to make up with him. I don’t want to be friends with him. Not after he abandoned me.

Other than that, things have been mostly uneventful. I’m alive, I guess, and I’m resting my magic energy (I haven’t dared use it at all), but I’m not doing all of the things I thought I would when I made it to the world above. I guess it’s because I’ve been so afraid of getting captured again. I don’t know how common it is, but I don’t think I’d survive it again. Not with the way I am now. I guess I really am weak…

~Susie


	21. Annoying Goat Mom

Dear Diary,

I finally went to the world above during the day today.

And I lived!

I wore a purple and black striped sweater with a black skirt (even though I’m starting to notice that I may be growing out of them) with a gold heart belt, two gold heart hairpins (my hair gets in my eyes a lot lately, but I haven’t really felt like cutting it short), and my spiked axe bracelet (just in case). It felt kind of weird to wear what I wanted again. Katy had chosen what I wore during my time with her, and then I didn’t really wear anything especially nice. Just what I would normally wear around the lab. But now I was trying to fit in again.

So, I just… walked through town. A lot of people were staring at me, but nobody really talked to me. Well, at first anyway.

Then, someone did talk to me. An adult monster, I think, who was covered in white fur and was wearing a formal purple outfit. I felt like I’ve seen her before.

Then I realized why. Standing behind her was a boy that looked a lot like her, who was wearing a green and yellow striped sweater, and had bright green eyes. I recognized him instantly. Asriel.

I guess I looked kind of weird when I recognized him, because he had a slight look of concern and who I assumed to be his mother started talking to me.

“Is something the matter?” She asked, sounding sincere.

“Umm… uh… no.” I wasn’t very good at this whole conversation thing.

“Are you new to town? If you’d like, I could show you around.”

I froze. How was I supposed to respond to that? So I didn’t, and just stood there, staring at her.

“Umm… where are your parents?”

I couldn’t think of a response, so I just said “They are not here right now.” I got the feeling that being created in a lab and your creator ceasing to exist was abnormal, so I decided not to bring that up.

“...How old are you?” She seemed concerned, and she was asking a lot of questions. It was starting to get a little uncomfortable, but I decided it would probably get more awkward if I refused to answer. However, I kept accidentally looking towards Asriel, I guess out of confusion, and he was staring at me. That wasn’t exactly helping matters.

“I’m twelve years old.” Afterall, I WAS created about twelve years ago by now, so that wasn’t a lie.

“You aren’t really old enough to be by yourself… how long are they gone for?”

I didn’t know how to answer that, because I had a feeling she was the type to make sure they would be back as soon as I said they should be, so I decided to lie instead. “Oh… they’re… at home! But they are umm… they don’t really like to be around other people…”

“Oh, well, do you live far?” She really wanted to make sure I didn’t make up these so-called parents, did she.

“They… hate visitors. Sorry.”

“Oh, that is okay then. I am sorry that I pushed you so hard to answer.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” I said, hoping she would leave so I wouldn’t have to be interrogated anymore. But she wasn’t done.

“Do you go to school, then?”

“What even IS school?” I had forgotten I was supposed to be trying to fit in.

She seemed surprised, but she got over it quickly. “School is a wonderful place where you can learn all sorts of things to help you live and grow as a successful person. Every child should go to school.”

“Umm…” I was more confused then I was before.

“Come with me.” She grabbed my hand. She was kind of warm and fuzzy, but the situation was a little weird. She brought me to the building that was labelled as a school that I had left Kris at before. Asriel followed us, but he wouldn’t stop staring at me. It was like he didn’t trust me.

So she showed me around the school. It looked like they did much more than was really necessary to make learning things seem interesting. To be perfectly honest, I was probably more intelligent than the teachers when it came to some things, but in others I really could use some help on, I suppose. Plus, she said that every kid is required to go to school, and activily defying that really isn’t going to help me fit in. So I agreed to start going. She told me that it was great that I was taking charge of my own learning, and showed me the classroom I was going to be in.

What I found to be the stupidest thing in this school was methods of learning. There was a class for younger children, who wouldn’t really learn much, but they learned a very hands-on approach in that class. Then the class for older children, the one I would be in, was very hands-off and was just reading and taking tests. And not like the tests I’ve gotten used to in the labs, ones that actually gauge your ability, test that, from what I could tell, were just to decide if you were considered to be smart or dumb. I really had no clue what they would consider me as.

The entire time, Asriel still stared at me, but wouldn’t say anything to me. He just stared. Then, when it was dark out (apparently we had spent HOURS at that school building), he finally did speak.

“Mom, shouldn’t we go check on Kris?”

I gave him a confused look, but his mom (she said her name was Toriel), nodded.

“Alright, Susie, please come here tomorrow for your first day of school, and have a nice night!” And with that, she and Asirel left. To go check on Kris.

I guess she must’ve found him the morning after I left him here, and kept him. It’s been about a year since then, so I shouldn’t be surprised that someone took him in. In fact, I’m glad! I just miss him…

There was a lot on my mind, so I guess I got sloppy when it came time to get more food. I walked into Sans’, but I didn’t check if anyone was in there or not. Turns out, there was.

“So, the robber comes in here while it’s still open. Might as well show your face. It’ll make it easier for the both of us.”

I turned to face Sans, still wearing the hood on the cloak I was wearing. I considered running, but I knew he was stronger than me. At least when it came to magic, which I currently could not use. If I ran, he would teleport me back. It’s that simple. So I decided to do exactly what he said.

I removed the hood. “Hey Sans, it’s been a while, huh?”

His eyes showed surprise, but he didn’t stop his creepy smile. “Susie?” He asked, and I couldn’t tell what he was feeling.

“Hey, thanks for abandoning me back there. It was really nice of you. Oh by the way, I got kidnapped by a human for a year, who did nothing but use me for my powers but, haha, who cares about that, am I right? Anyway, I’ve been living off literally any food I can find, including a bowl of milk I find in an alley everyday, and I’ve been considering eating things that aren’t supposed to be edible. By the way, sorry for stealing a small bag full of food from you store once a week. It was so awful of me to try to survive because I have ABSOLUTELY NO ONE!” I love sarcasm. I’m so glad I learned it.

He didn’t know how to react, and I considered taking that chance to leave. But I didn’t. I wanted to see his response.

“Everything that is happening to you is your fault. If you didn’t let him go-”

“You think I don’t KNOW THAT?”

“...You’re the one in a black cloak trying to steal from a grocery store. I’ll tell you what. I’ll let it go this time, but if you steal from me one more time, I’ll call the cops on you. Figure out some other way to live. You’re the one who let him go. So you can deal with it. I started a new life, so why don’t you?”

I glared at him, but I really didn’t have the energy to start a fight. So I left. And I don’t think I’m ever going to speak to him again.

I’m surprised by the fact I saw Asriel again. He was in the world above the True Lab, not here, and I was pretty sure he died. At least, that’s what Gaster told me. But I should probably get some sleep now, if I’m going to school tomorrow. Maybe I’ll make some friends there?

~Susie


End file.
